Beckford, William, 1759-1844 / 2008-09-22 00:00:00
They care not a hair of an
ass's ear whether their houses be gloomy and ill-contrived, their
pavements overgrown with weeds, and their shops with filthiness,
provided the carcasses of Gaspar, Melchior, and Balthazar might be
preserved with proper decorum. Nothing, to be sure, can be richer
than the shrine which contains these precious relics. I paid my
devotions before it the moment I arrived; this step was inevitable:
had I omitted it, not a soul in Cologne but would have cursed me for
a Pagan.
Do you not wonder at hearing of these venerable bodies so far from
their native country? I thought them snug in some Arabian pyramid
ten feet deep in spice; but you see one can never tell what is to
become of one a few ages hence. Who knows but the Emperor of Morocco
may be canonized some future day in Lapland? I asked, of course, how
in the name of miracles they came hither; but found no story of a
supernatural conveyance. It seems the holy Empress Helena, as great
a collectress of relics as the D---s of P. is of profane curiosities,
first routed them out: then they were packed off to Rome. King
Alaric, having no grace, bundled them down to Milan; where they
remained till it pleased God to inspire an ancient archbishop with
the fervent wish of depositing them at Cologne. There these
skeletons were taken into the most especial consideration, crowned
with jewels and filigreed with gold. Never were skulls more
elegantly mounted; and I doubt whether Odin's buffet could exhibit so
fine an assortment.
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