Under this head comes the practice of
whispering and staring about, when a teacher, or lecturer, or clergyman
is addressing a class or audience. Such inattention is practically
saying that what the person is uttering is not worth attending to; and
persons of real good-breeding always avoid it. Loud talking and laughing
in a large assembly, even when no exercises are going on; yawning and
gaping in company; and not looking in the face a person who is
addressing you, are deemed marks of ill-breeding.
Another branch of good manners relates to the duties of hospitality.
Politeness requires us to welcome visitors with cordiality; to offer
them the best accommodations; to address conversation to them; and to
express, by tone and manner, kindness and respect. Offering the hand
to all visitors at one's own house is a courteous and hospitable custom;
and a cordial shake of the hand, when friends meet, would abate much
of the coldness of manner ascribed to Americans.
Another point of good breeding refers to the conventional rules of
propriety and good taste. Of these, the first class relates to the
avoidance of all disgusting or offensive personal habits: such as
fingering the hair; obtrusively using a toothpick, or carrying one in
the mouth after the needful use of it; cleaning the nails in presence
of others; picking the nose; spitting on carpets; snuffing instead of
using a handkerchief, or using the article in an offensive manner;
lifting up the boots or shoes, as some men do, to tend them on the
knee, or to finger them: all these tricks, either at home or in society,
children should be taught to avoid.
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