Should Lord Rufford disown her,
which she knew to be quite possible, there would be a general
collapse and the world would crash over her head. But she had
known, when she took this business in hand, that as success would
open Elysium to her, so would failure involve her in absolute ruin.
She was determined that she would mar nothing now by cowardice, and
having so resolved, and having fortified herself with perhaps two
glasses of sherry, she went down to the drawing-room a little
before nine, and laid herself out upon a sofa till the ladies
should come in.
Lord Rufford had gone to bed, as was his wont on such occasions,
with orders that he should be called to dress for dinner at
half-past seven. But as he laid himself down he made up his
mind that, instead of sleeping, he would give himself up to thinking
about Arabella Trefoil. The matter was going beyond a joke, and
would require some thinking. He liked her well enough, but was
certainly not in love with her. I doubt whether men ever are in love
with girls who throw themselves into their arms. A man's love, till
it has been chastened and fastened by the feeling of duty which
marriage brings with it, is instigated mainly by the difficulty of
pursuit. "It is hardly possible that anything so sweet as that
should ever be mine; and yet, because I am a man, and because it is
so heavenly sweet, I will try.
Pages:
384
385
386
387
388
389
390
391
392
393
394
395
396
397
398
399
400
401
402
403
404
405
406
407
408