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Trollope, Anthony, 1815-1882

"The American Senator"

"You have always been so good to me, and so kind!"
Here his heart misgave him, for he felt that during the last week
he had not been kind to her. "But you would not wish me to give
myself to a man and then not to care for him."
"No, my dear."
"I couldn't do it. I should fall down dead first. I have thought so
much about it,--for your sake; and have tried it with myself. I
couldn't do it"
"Is there anybody else, Mary?" As he asked the question he held her
hand beneath his own on the desk, but he did not dare to look into
her face. He had been told by his wife that there was somebody
else; that the girl's mind was running upon Mr. Surtees, because
Mr. Surtees was a gentleman. He was thinking of Mr. Surtees, and
certainly not of Reginald Morton.
To her the moment was very solemn and when the question was asked
she felt that she could not tell her father a falsehood. She had
gradually grown bold enough to assure herself that her heart was
occupied with that man who had travelled with her to Cheltenham;
and she felt that that feeling alone must keep her apart from any
other love. And yet, as she had no hope, as she had assured herself
that her love was a burden to be borne and could never become a
source of enjoyment, why should her secret be wrested from her?
What good would such a violation do? But she could not tell the
falsehood, and therefore she held her tongue.


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