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Trollope, Anthony, 1815-1882

"The American Senator"

I could only tell her what I think, and that she knows
already."
"If you were to say that you wished it! She thinks so much about
you:'
"I couldn't tell her that I wished it in a manner that would drive
her into it. Of course it would be a very good match. But I have
only to think of her happiness and I must leave her to judge what
will make her happy."
"I should like to have it fixed some way before she starts," said
Larry in an altered tone.
"Of course you are your own master, Twentyman. And you have behaved
very well"
"This is a kind of thing that a man can't stand," said the young
farmer sulkily. "Good night, Mr. Masters" Then he walked off home
to Chowton Farm meditating on his own condition and trying to make
up his mind to leave the scornful girl and become a free man. But
he couldn't do it. He couldn't even quite make up his mind that he
would try to do it. There was a bitterness within as he thought of
permanent fixed failure which he could not digest. There was a
craving in his heart which he did not himself quite understand, but
which made him think that the world would be unfit to be lived in
if he were to be altogether separated from Mary Masters. He
couldn't separate himself from her. It was all very well thinking
of it, talking of it, threatening it; but in truth he couldn't do
it.


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